


I Choose Joy

by Zebra (DQueenie13)



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Spoilers for Lennah's Lv100 episode
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 19:37:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18723601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DQueenie13/pseuds/Zebra
Summary: The two sat in silence as they continued watching. Slowly, a few ants scurrying around the flower started exploring the bulb. They transmitted their findings to their fellow ants, who passed along the message until soon enough, the area around the flower was teeming with them.The clamoring of fellow crewmates here and there could be heard, as well as the tolling of the town bell to signify it was noon, but they made no effort to move. Some of the kids came over to stare at the ants as well, making the area noisy for a few minutes; Elmott dragged away one who tried to disturb the ants and inadvertently took all the kids with him while he was at it. The hustle and bustle faded into calm once more, and through all of it, the two exchanged no words.Written for the Golonzo Hub Weekly Challenge.





	I Choose Joy

While the Grandcypher was docked for routine supply refills and maintenance, a most peculiar sight graced the airship’s deck. A fully-fledged garden sprouted over a third of the deck, and in the middle of it sat a lavender-haired woman surrounded by several cats. They weren’t concentrated on her, per se—rather, they rolled around the wildflowers, purring contentedly and pawing at the air. Meanwhile, another cat-like Erune lay her head in the woman’s lap, completely relaxed as her ears and head were gently massaged.

“Fascinating.” Dante was the self-professed disciple of the felines, caring for their every need and aspiring to learn the meaning of freedom from them. Now, he sat cross-legged in the impromptu garden, observing the scene before him. “Miss Lennah, I had no idea you could use your magic like this. Specifically, creating matatabby for my lords and ladies.”

The woman giggled. “Actually, this is my first time making it, so I’m delighted it’s having the proper effect.”

Sen made a noise not unlike a purr before stretching and yawning. As Lennah stopped her head pats, Sen rolled off her lap until she laid on her back. “That felt _so_ good! It feels so nice after that last battle…”

“I’m glad,” Lennah beamed. “You looked so stressed after all those fights.”

Sen stretched again on the bed of flowers, a contented smile on her face. “We finally got a break this week… I think I’m gonna take a lot of naps.” With that, she closed her eyes and nestled into the flowers covering the wooden deck, losing herself to their scents.

 

With one crew member all smiles, Lennah rose and approached another figure in the garden. “Now, now, Sariel. Why the despondent look on your handsome face? Has something happened to the ants?”

Although made of magic, Lennah’s flowers could produce nectar and in turn, those flowers attracted various insects. Sariel was now crouched beside a trail of ants, his knees to his chest as he rested his chin on them. Normally, he would be completely enraptured for hours on end. Today, however, his gaze was distant, and his huddled figure was more befitting of a vulnerable child than an archangel of execution.

Lennah gathered her wide skirt as she sat next to him, mindful not to disturb the small creatures. The archangel remained silent, though his shifting and glance in her direction indicated he acknowledged her presence. Undaunted, Lennah produced a budding flower from her hand. A tiny peek of the petals within showed through, revealing a light purple-pink color a similar shade as her own hair. She held it out to Sariel, who tentatively took it from her.

“It hasn’t bloomed,” he noted after a pause.

“The ants like it that way.”

“They do?”

She pointed at the flower, then at the ants. “Before these flowers bloom, they make a nectar that ants love. The ants also protect the flower from other insects.”

Sariel mulled over her words for a few seconds before unceremoniously dropping the flower in between them. When they inevitably scattered, he slumped, a vague look of disappointment in his eyes. She giggled softly. “Don’t worry, they’re just surprised. They’ll adjust to it in a few minutes.”

The two sat in silence as they continued watching. Slowly, a few ants scurrying around the flower started exploring the bulb. They transmitted their findings to their fellow ants, who passed along the message until soon enough, the area around the flower was teeming with them.

The clamoring of fellow crewmates here and there could be heard, as well as the tolling of the town bell to signify it was noon, but they made no effort to move. Some of the kids came over to stare at the ants as well, making the area noisy for a few minutes; Elmott dragged away one who tried to disturb the ants and inadvertently took all the kids with him while he was at it. The hustle and bustle faded into calm once more, and through all of it, the two exchanged no words.

 

Half an hour later, seeing Sariel had grown accustomed to her presence, Lennah probed again. “Sariel, is something the matter? Did something happen during the battle earlier?”

Despite having no elemental affinity for darkness, Lennah was kept as a reserve member in case things went south, so she witnessed Sariel descend on the battlefield at Lyria’s behest. As with most other summoned primals, he was only around for a few seconds before disappearing. It was unlikely he was physically harmed, but given the unknown nature of Lyria’s powers, Lennah wasn’t sure if it had any burden on them.

He shuffled his feet, burying his face into his knees as if guilty of something. After a few seconds of silence, he finally spoke. “I couldn’t bring out my full power when Lyria summoned me. I didn’t kill her enemies like I was supposed to. I… I’ve disappointed her.”

She purposely let his words sit between them for a few seconds. It was never good to answer too hastily, and letting him vocalize his thoughts allowed him to rethink the sentiments in his heart. Although he wasn’t looking at her, she looked at his face as she responded. “You don’t like hurting other living beings, do you?”

He slowly shook his head.

“Lyria can sense the emotions of primal beasts,” Lennah continued slowly. “She doesn’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to do. You haven’t disappointed her; I think _she_ was the one who limited your power so you wouldn’t suffer.”

After another stretch of silence, he answered quietly, “So I don’t need to kill if I don’t want to?”

“You don’t.”

Sariel lifted his face to rest his chin on his knees again, conflicted sadness evident in his expression. Lennah’s own heart sank. She had no way of knowing what was running through his mind—whether remembering his conflicted relationship with Belial, his friend, ruiner, and savior, or his time within the beast that was Avatar—but it was surely something she could not understand.

Sariel suddenly turned his head to face her, his light blue eyes gazing into hers. Surprised, Lennah simply blinked back, transfixed by his ethereal features. He broke eye contact first, glancing down at where the ants used to be. Their numbers had thinned out; their business here was done, and they were moving on to the next job.

He straightened up before turning back to her. “Then… what do I do?” Before she could respond, he continued, “I’m the executioner, so I fight enemies, but otherwise… I… What’s my purpose? I do what I’m supposed to do, but now…”

In the middle of his rambling, he trailed off to fix his attention on an ant that had crawled from the flower stem onto his hand. As if he’d completely forgotten the thoughts that were just in his mind (or perhaps he _did_ forget), he brought the hand to his knee and peered curiously at the ant crawling along his finger.

 

Lennah suppressed a smile of pity as she watched him. His situation wasn’t mere misfortune; he was created with his personality and his purpose at odds with one another. For what reason? To study how he would react to this dissonance? On top of that, he had a limiter that stunted his psychological development in order to appease the Astrals who became wary of Lucilius’ creations.

The end result was that the archangel before her was a jumble of contradictions. He couldn’t bear harm others, but that was his role. Because of that, he disliked his role, but he also had no sense of purpose without it. Without his duty to occupy him, he found little interest in anything other than observing ants. Unlike other primals Lyria absorbed power from, Sariel rarely manifested outside of battle even in the presence of other archangels. According to Michael, he always reported directly to Lucilius in the past, so he was a mystery even to them. If Sandalphon requested something of him, such as lending his power to Lyria, he complied—but only because Sandalphon had authority as the Supreme Primarch.

“I don’t want it…” Sariel suddenly spoke. “I don’t want this half-baked personality.”

Perhaps the cruelest part of Sariel’s existence was that he was aware of his limiter but could do nothing about it. Lennah considered him for a few moments as he buried his face back into his arms, resting on his knees.

“It’s not half-baked at all,” she replied gently. When he didn’t respond, she continued, “Of course, primals and skydwellers are different, but I’ve met many different types of people. Some people are like you; they’re only interested in a specific thing. It doesn’t mean they’re deficient. All it means is that they think differently.”

Lennah’s next words were spoken softly, as if a confession of her own. “I think everyone has a part of themselves that they wish they didn’t have. I hated my curse for a long time, too. And more than the curse, myself for getting tricked. For a few years, I was always scared of dying if I didn’t make enough flowers. I forced myself to stay awake, because if I stopped making flowers when I slept too long, I’d die. Those were long, miserable years.

“From my curse, I learned something important, though. I might not be able to change myself, but I _can_ change how I see myself. Crying and being miserable only takes you so far, doesn’t it? All it did was make my eyes puffy and my body tired. So I decided to stop focusing on what I couldn’t change—my curse—and start focusing on something I _could_ do. I decided to use my flowers to make other people happy.”

“But I… I don’t know what I can do…”

“You like watching ants, don’t you? You bring bread to give them so they can bring food back to their colonies. That’s something, isn’t it? It might seem small, but you’re giving them something that they can save for weeks and months so they don’t starve.”

Sariel mulled over her words, fidgeting with the flower stem now that only one or two ants were crawling on it. “But I don’t know what else I want to do…”

“It doesn’t have to be something big. Living from day-to-day is perfectly fine; we have crew members who joined us because they don’t know what to do, either. Has there ever been something you wanted to do? Maybe you weren’t allowed to do it, or you didn’t have time to do.”

He thought it over for a few seconds, before his eyes lit up. “I want to lay down in the grass.”

The plants they were sitting on now were wildflowers and not grass, and she wasn’t sure whether that was an acceptable substitute for him. Before she could ask him, he leaned over on his side until gravity pulled him down onto the flower-covered ship deck with a thud. Lennah peered over, a tad worried that this nigh-immortal being somehow injured himself. Instead, she found him with his eyes closed, a satisfied peace on his face. Anyone looking over at him now would easily mistake him as being asleep.

 

With a satisfied smile, she picked herself up and walked over to Dante and Sen, the cats now either next to their sides or sitting atop them. “Both of you are still here?”

“The cats didn’t want me to leave!” Sen giggled nervously. Mewmew was curled up contently in Sen’s lap as the Erune lavished gentle pats all over her head and back.

“Watching you two has been quite enlightening. The freedom to choose how to respond to your circumstances—it’s a valuable lesson regardless of age.”

“It’s a difficult one to grasp, for sure. I’m lucky that my curse was able to teach me it at a young age. There are many who have lost their lives to the curse I was under; I was lucky enough to be revived by the Mother Tree to protect it, which inadvertently gave me a new, uncursed body. But I wonder if those who perished to it cursed themselves or the world to the very end, unable to find peace? I do hope Sariel doesn’t end up like them.”

Dante rubbed his chin. “Are you satisfied leaving without seeing him smile?”

“Of course, I love seeing people’s smiling faces, but not everyone shows their happiness the same way, you know? This isn’t quite how the term is usually used, but I believe in the freedom of expression—everyone expresses themselves in their own way. We might not always understand each other’s ways, but trying to force others to conform to one way would make life so boring, wouldn’t it?”

“I couldn’t agree more. My lords and ladies have their own personalities—people who expect all cats to act the same, or judge their behavior from a human perspective, have a gross misunderstanding about how all living beings work.”

As the two waxed philosophical about freedom, happiness, and the nature of living beings, Sen noticed the corners of Sariel’s mouth curve upwards into something of a smile. She decided not to bring attention to it. He had a right to have his own happiness, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [Golonzo Hub](https://twitter.com/GolonzoH), a GBF fan work Discord community. The weekly challenge was to make something for your favorite character, playable or unplayable (in my case, Lennah).
> 
> The fic started out as a fun little exploration into possible applications of Lennah's plant powers, inspired by Grand Blues #715 where she uses the various plants created by her curse as kindling for a fire and as a food supply. Then along the way Sariel got added because I pulled him in the gacha and I love him. Ooh, an ant.


End file.
